What they failed to tell me

At the clinic that I’ve been visiting for 40 weeks.. is that if I go too far over they’ll kick me out on the street.  I waltzed in for a check-up at 40+5 (I have to go every 2 days after my EDD) and was still at a measly 2cm.  In comes the 180 where my OB informs me that I’ll be transferred to a different hospital because they don’t do inductions.  The rationale is that he’s the only doctor at the clinic and while he can perform caesareans in a pinch he doesn’t like to do higher risk deliveries if he can help it, including inductions.  Cue panic, feelings, and me going around the corner to the bakery and eating all the carbs.  I get what he means but a little warning would have been nice!

So this morning J and I take our paperwork and go to the new hospital.  Which is HUGE.  The one I went to is small (one doctor and all) and I’m in and out pretty quick, there isn’t even a baby born there every day.  So there was definitely some “culture” shock at this hospital.  I even had to do my own blood pressure!  We waited about 2 hours before I’m called in to talk to a university student about my background info.  After another 20 minutes or so one of the doctors calls me in and we do an ultrasound and he informs me that they’d like me to check-in to the hospital TODAY.  TODAY, people.  I could have probably fought it but didn’t seem to be much point seeing as I had all my stuff in the car anyway and I probably just would have been freaking out for the rest of the day.

The doctor is nice, a lot warmer than the OB I’ve been seeing.  He’s also very pretty and lived in Tennessee when he was 4 or something.  Unrelated but it’s nice to feel a connection with a doctor, I didn’t really have one with my OB.

So anyway we went in immediately (around 11:30am) to do what I imagine is this: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laminaria_stick and it did not feel nice.  So I break out in a panic–sweating and crying with what can only be a combination of the pain and the sheer WHAT IS HAPPENING feelings that being unexpectedly checked into a new hospital for a surprise induction is sure to give any person.

Once that was done I laid down on a couch outside because I couldn’t deal but thankfully we were moved to the laboring room pretty quickly.  Not that I was laboring or anything, they just wanted to do an NST and probably not traumatize people with a hyperventilating foreigner in the lobby.

Bad news of today is that since it was so sudden I wasn’t able to get a private room so I’m in a room for 4 people.  There’s 2 other ladies here with their babies, though they both check out tomorrow.  I hope I can get a private room eventually, I have 6 days post-natal here at this hospital and tip toeing around other people sounds lame.  Also bad news is that the doctor failed to mention how much this seaweed stick HURTS.  I can’t even use the bathroom without wanting to pass out.  Thanks, guy.

Hospital food isn’t terrible at least (but not great either).  Two doctors came to check on me before they go home for the day and I was sadly informed that this pain is normal and there’s not much I can do but suck it up (he didn’t say that last part but I’m assuming this is he case).  J (who went home around 3 to get some paperwork) and his parents came by around 6:30 to see me but I couldn’t talk much because of the pain.  Since we were unexpectedly booted from my previous clinic I didn’t have some of the aftercare items prepared (pads, etc, they sell them in a set at the clinic but not here at this hospital) so J’s mom picked that up for me (and by picked it up I called the old clinic and asked them to give me one because they suck and threw me out like yesterday’s garbage.  Nope not bitter at all.).  She also brought me some bread from my favorite bakery, bless her.  They wouldn’t let J’s dad back in the room so I walked out to say hi but it was short lived because standing feels like terribleness.

So now I’m on my own because visiting hours are only until 7pm (unless I go into labor, obviously).  Tomorrow I’ll get an IV of what I imagine to be pitocin.  They also want to do the foley balloon but after this seaweed crap I think I’m going to opt out unless they can guarantee that putting it in won’t hurt as bad as this thing.  Please send me all your positive vibes, thoughts, and prayers as I start on this journey!  There’s been a lot of surprise in the past 24 hours but as long as I get a healthy baby out of it, all will be worth it.

BOE all up in my biznass

I’ve been living with Jun and his family for the past year now–it started off with sunshine and rainbows, but the last few months have been harder, probably for a variety of reasons (the cold weather, feeling pressure (not from anyone, mind you, from me) to help around the house, not feeling like I have my own time, pressure from friends to hang out/spend money, the list goes on).  J has been soldier, putting up with my moods and taking it in stride.  I think he recognizes that it’s all a lot to take in, the homesickness definitely gets stronger when the likelihood of returning home permanently moves closer to 0.  I’m really, really looking forward to going home for my sister’s wedding in February, needless to say!  It’ll be a nice Japan break, I think we both (Japan and I) need it.  There’s a lot of things that can grate on you after a while.

One thing is overbearing nature of the BOE over teachers.  Since teachers are paid by the tax payers they get scrutinized more than your regular joe.  Speeding tickets end in a circus of apologies to the town, school, local BOE, and city BOE.  Drunk driving, the worst you could possibly do, results in immediate firing and memos sent prefecture wide.  I get that last one, but I miss the “personal stays personal” aspect back home.  Since we are city employees we are always reminded that we must uphold the face of the school both when in and out of the workplace.  So if you’re planning to get drunk and hoot and holler in the streets, I’d recommend taking a vacation.

That said, it’s even moreso for the ALT because we’re babied, or monitored, so closely.  For some BOEs it comes out of a fear for tomfoolery (based on horror stories or actual experiences) and turns into things like “You are not allowed to drive your car to work.” or even “You are not allowed to own a car.”  Crazy, right?  Some ALTs actually have that in their contract.  Even in mine it says that we should come to school by bike or walking.  This of course is because if we get into an accident on our way to work, it’s the BOEs job to go on the apology circus and take responsibility for the dumb ALT.

On that note, I should mention that the past year I’ve been driving the 30 minute commute from J’s home, instead of the 2 minute drive (or 10 minute walk) from my house (strategically positioned in my town so I don’t have to drive, same for all ministry hired ALTs here).  I didn’t really think anything of it as I come from a culture where what you do between 8am and 4pm is off limits.  My mistake!  The other night (Weds, to be exact) I was getting a cooking lesson from my old super boss’ (he was the boss at my town education center, the place technically in charge of me, but under the city-wide BOE) wife and he had to give me the hard line.  He’d been seeing me every morning on the way to work and was worried about me (and the BOE) getting in trouble if I was in an accident.  Plus the BOE was providing my housing (also taxpayer money), and my address was still listed in Town S so if I was caught in an accident there would be all kinds of questions and I would probably get in a lot of trouble for commuting in from somewhere that isn’t my legal address.  This all was news to me, even more of a shock was being told that the BOE could tell me that I can’t stay at J’s house any more.  I mean.. really?  In the US that would NEVER go down!  But the insurance on commute and “public image”, etc. etc.

J (and all Japanese men.. most men anywhere?) cannot handle my lady tears of exasperation.  He was probably the least comforting person ever, unsurprising.

So on Thursday morning I asked to meet with my vice principal and principal (hereafter VP and P) to explain the situation.  I made sure to let them know that I didn’t understand that what I had been doing was wrong but I wanted to make it right.  My VP immediately went to the local BOE to talk about the haps and the whole day was pretty much me sitting on the edge (of tears) waiting to hear if I was going to be forced to live in S or not.  Obviously I’m not a terrible ALT, I come to work on time despite the commute and I still come in to participate in all the S events.

Both P and VP were completely understanding–I’m definitely lucky to have them.  If it had been my old VP.. that would’ve been bad.  The P and VP I have now are no fans of the big brother style/red tape office politics so I think they understood from where I was coming.

On my drive home yesterday I got pretty hysterical (think it was an outpouring of missing my first Christmas at home, thinking Japan is a terrible place, and really not wanting to be told what to do by my BOE) so I just decided to call my supervisor at the city BOE directly. All I really wanted to know is if there was a chance that I’d be forced to leave K for S.  Thankfully the answer was no!  Better yet, I later got a call that they’d be able to change my address to J’s home, all I have to do is clean up the house in S and move out.

This is really not the norm, I think most BOEs would say no but thanks to the help of my P and VP (and also a call to the BOE from my ex-boss), they gave me the OK.

I can’t lie–this is all pretty scary.  I’m not going to have my own house and this pretty much “seals the deal” at J’s place.  I’m getting the heebie jeebies (mostly because I’m still worried about long-term job prospects) but I don’t really have any choice now.  All I can do is hope something doesn’t go terribly awry between J and I, because my BOE will have done all this work for naught.

I hope they’re happy, at least, that they get to save money on my rent.  The only problem we’re facing right now is getting rid of the stuff left over from previous ALTs.  Lots of crap.  And the Japanese garbage system, while great and very green, is sort of incomprehensible to me.  So many rules!

Right now I’m just thankful that half of the staff are out today (last working day before a week off) because the discreetness of yesterday is gone–VP is blasting out the inner workings of my move (along with my new address and J’s information) in the staff room.  I can’t lie and pretend I’m not happy about it–I’ll never be anything other than an outsider here but it’s one more step towards being treated as less than a foreign monkey.

And I know J is happy too, he was smiley all night yesterday, though he tried to hide it.  Here’s too one less stress of having a house I don’t live in.  And maybe J making me an honest woman.. eventually. Good way to start the new year.  But first, I have to go on an apology/”yoroshiku” (literally: please take care of me/look favorably upon me) circuit to the local and city BOE about this whole fiasco!  Oh, Japan.